11 years of meditation.
A different look at the 2016 trend.
The recent 2016 trend made me realize my 11-year anniversary of learning to meditate is coming up this month, and I completely missed the 10-year anniversary. I’ll never forget the date, because it was the morning after Skrillex & Diplo released the Jack Ü album with Justin Bieber. We threw a 24-hour livestream party at the label offices in LA, and I had to stay sober the whole time because I was learning to meditate in the morning. I wasn’t very fun to be around.
It feels like I’ve completed a major life cycle since 2015. I went through hell and back, traveling around the world completely alone, having some of the best and worst times, and deeply excavating all of the demons that had been driving my slow demise. I’m still far from perfect, but a lot has changed, and in my view, change, growth, and evolution is why we’re here.
In that spirit, I thought I’d outline a few of the most noticeable ways that this practice has helped me. I hope these observations may be inspiring to anyone who is considering learning, or that the photos from that era may at least be entertaining ;)
Anger
The week before I learned to meditate, I had gotten so angry at a parking attendant who forbade me from throwing away my eaten apple core in the parking lot trash can that I chucked the apple at his head. So in terms of improvements, the bar was pretty low. I haven’t done it since, so that’s a 100% reduction in fruit assault.
Letting Go
This was probably the hardest and slowest change. I’ve written a lot about this, so I won’t belabor it here, but suffice it to say I was always quite a control freak and spent nearly every second of the day trying to influence, optimize, and otherwise control everything and everyone around me. It didn’t happen overnight, but I’ve finally gotten comfortable with the idea that the more I surrender to what is, the more smoothly things go. Here is a longer article I wrote in that vein.
Smoking Weed
Another topic I’ve written about in depth here and won’t rehash too much here, but I was severely addicted to weed, smoked it pretty much all day every day for about 13 years, and was completely dependent on it in order to not feel like the world was ending. As of this writing, I haven’t touched it in over four years, and I don’t ever think about it.
Anxiety
This was probably the most insidious and pervasive challenge in my life, and something I struggled with since birth. As a kid, I would subconsciously bite my lip and literally pull out chunks of my own hair and eyebrows without even realizing it. No amount of therapy, drugs, yoga, journaling, breath work, or anything else had been able to dissolve my anxiety at the root, only manage it at best. When I discovered weed, I used it to mask the anxiety, but in reality it just made it worse in the long run by disrupting my natural neurochemistry. Through my Vedic studies, I learned that anxiety stems from attachment to a certain outcome. Once I was able to let go of attachments to outcomes more, the anxiety started fading away naturally. These days, I may occasionally feel a heightened sense of tension in high stakes scenarios or under pressure, but only a healthy amount, which dissipated quickly. More about attachment here and more about anxiety here and here.
Creativity
Regular daily experiences of transcendence really helped familiarize me with the source of all creativity, which is Being, not doing or thinking. Whereas before, I used to ‘try’ to ‘think up’ novel ideas through sheer mental force, meditation has taught me to relax, let go, clear the channel for inspiration, and take it as it comes. I truly believe that while some people may be naturally more inclined toward this process, creativity is like a muscle, and anyone can tap into that same source within—whether channeling it toward painting or music or spreadsheets and legalese.
Health
Before I started meditating, I used to get terrible headaches nearly every single day, wasn’t able to sleep unless I was stoned, suffered from allergies and digestive issues, couldn’t eat many foods, was underweight, ground my teeth at night, etc. etc. I used to make myself crazy constantly chasing various cures, and I would estimate I spent over $100,000 on various healers, tests, supplements, treatments, workshops, etc. between 2018 and 2025. Rather than fixing each thing at the surface layer, I found that the hypo-metabolic rest afforded to me from meditation allowed my body to naturally rebalance itself at a cellular level from the inside out, gradually healing each and every one of the symptoms that had manifest from decades of abuse and neglect.
Energy
I used to feel pretty tired all of the time, even with 9 hours of sleep. These days, I feel like I have endless energy every day, even with as little as four hours of sleep.
Objective Feedback
For fun, I asked some close friends who have known me since 2015 to weigh in on how I’ve changed since then:
“Much more present in the moment.”
“You are kinder to yourself and those around you.”
“I would say that you’re more authentically yourself! Maybe in the past, you were more trying to project a specific sort of image or persona. Outside of your close circle, you didn’t seem to really give a F about anyone else, so you could be a bit inconsiderate or judgy and even a little intimidating. Now you’re not like that at all. You’re genuinely interested in others and doing good in the world and bettering yourself. You just seem lighter and unbothered but not in an aloof way, in a very present way. You’re highly approachable, more empathetic and encouraging. You don’t express judgement and seem more accepting of others. You’ve had quite the arc.”
“It feels like you have shifted from chasing highs and momentum to cultivating presence and clarity. You seem way more grounded and emotionally steady. Same sharp mind, just operating from peace instead of adrenaline.”
“You have your own dreams now. Your pace slowed down. So you can actually enjoy your life. Not cater to someone else’s.”
“Less self centered and more aware of others. You are more grounded and more in control of your anger and emotions. You have a better overall outlook and are more calm and calming.”
“I’ve seen you really explore your purpose and define the values that matter to you, and focus on the things that actually make you happy. You’re calmer, more positive, and seem to have found inner peace.”
“You’ve become stronger and more resilient, someone that gives more than they take, more positive and more invested in the improvement of others than just yourself. As someone who felt that maybe I was a little more mentory towards you, I’ve found you to be just as mentory towards me, if you know what I mean. You gained my respect many years ago, but you are now more inspiring as a person.”
Let’s discuss these and other ideas during Collective Effervescence, our online group meditation series, this Sunday February 8th at 12PM ET. Drop in for meditation only (first 30 min) or stay for discussion + Q&A on this and other life topics from the Vedic perspective. Join the WhatsApp group to receive reminders 24 hours before each session, or click Subscribe on this page to have all upcoming dates automatically sync to your preferred calendar.
Congrats on exiting your villain arc and becoming a full time lover boy! 😉Happy 11 years! Jai Guru Deva! ♥️
Thank you for teaching me the way. I loved reading this and happy 11 years ❤️